life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, January 25, 2016

The count is 3 "Oh Craps" and 1 "Meh"

Monday mornings are always a choice!   Choice #1 the beginning of another exciting week or Choice #2 “Oh Crap” another week is starting again. 

I woke up, wrapped my house coat around me, put my slippers on and made a mad dash to the thermostat to turn up the heat….mmmmm…the warm air pours out over me as I position myself strategically under the vent.  Until…..it didn’t…"Oh Crap"!  Call the repairman, hop in the shower to get ready to head up to 2 appointments at the Florida Hospital Heart Center. The water is warm but as soon as I climb out it is crazy cold! “Oh Crap” I made it to the clinic, almost on time and the ICD is working perfectly but the incision site is showing some suspicious signs,  my body is not liking the ICD  “Oh Crap”.  If you are counting…that makes 3 “Oh Craps” and it is not yet 10:00 AM.  Monday morning is not looking good!

It is now late Monday afternoon, the repairman has come and gone, The heater is humming, the incision has been medicated and seriously taped up, my feet are up, bra is off and I am binge watching (and really liking) “Mozart in the Jungle”….The count is 3 “Oh Craps” and and  1 “Meh”.  It was officially a rocky start, I never reached “Excited” but I am... after all… a gem! 


"Have a Little Faith"  Micheal Franti

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