life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, January 25, 2016

The count is 3 "Oh Craps" and 1 "Meh"

Monday mornings are always a choice!   Choice #1 the beginning of another exciting week or Choice #2 “Oh Crap” another week is starting again. 

I woke up, wrapped my house coat around me, put my slippers on and made a mad dash to the thermostat to turn up the heat….mmmmm…the warm air pours out over me as I position myself strategically under the vent.  Until…..it didn’t…"Oh Crap"!  Call the repairman, hop in the shower to get ready to head up to 2 appointments at the Florida Hospital Heart Center. The water is warm but as soon as I climb out it is crazy cold! “Oh Crap” I made it to the clinic, almost on time and the ICD is working perfectly but the incision site is showing some suspicious signs,  my body is not liking the ICD  “Oh Crap”.  If you are counting…that makes 3 “Oh Craps” and it is not yet 10:00 AM.  Monday morning is not looking good!

It is now late Monday afternoon, the repairman has come and gone, The heater is humming, the incision has been medicated and seriously taped up, my feet are up, bra is off and I am binge watching (and really liking) “Mozart in the Jungle”….The count is 3 “Oh Craps” and and  1 “Meh”.  It was officially a rocky start, I never reached “Excited” but I am... after all… a gem! 


"Have a Little Faith"  Micheal Franti

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