Being specific....

“Digging deep, staying true, not giving up, building character, breathing in, hanging on”….Make it sound like a super hero introduction.  An incredibly vague set of virtuous actions with no idea about how, when or why to apply them to my life.  Is this list of super human strength the only thing that can make me a good person?  What if I choose to take care of the life I have now? Not choosing to become a pillar of strength or solve others emotional difficulties, but just to have a peaceful, happy, responsible life, focusing on the things I love?  Would walking away from chaotic circumstances that compromise my love and life make me weak and selfish?  

I am still learning what and where my limits are, both physical and emotional. My self-esteem stinks!  In the past, I would take on problems that were not mine, that I did not create and could not possibly solve. No one said I had to do it, and sometimes they did not even ask  for my help.  I made myself feel better and my own problems seem smaller by taking on other people’s problems, and as a bonus I would be seen by others as a “good helpful person”!  So unhealthy on so many levels...and then I ask why me...why heart failure?

So perhaps I need to be more specific….Digging deep into my own heart and love, staying true to my passions, not giving up on creative life,  building my character by taking care of my emotional and physical self,  breathing in love and joy, and hanging on to my own happiness.  Empathy and compassion will always be a part of who I am, but I have to learn how to balance it in my life.

"Superman"  Five for Fighting