life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Wednesday, November 11, 2015

A new life plan is NOT giving up...

This one bites and it bites hard because I recognize me.  All of this time I thought I had no life plan, when the reality is….I think I did, but was too chicken to admit it to anyone. An adored creative that facilitates creative successes in others as well as a phenomenal artist in my own right, was a pretty spectacular life plan, and it appears that I am totally attached to it, even though I thought it too self-serving to admit it out loud. The fact is I have known for some time I needed to make another plan, but for reasons that are both admirable and downright stupid I have hung on to the “I can beat this” mentality.  The just hang on… keep pushing… be strong… don’t let anyone see you weak or in pain and other sappy Hallmark Card sentiments are just that…..sappy sentiments written by people that have no idea what this is about.  The reality is there are things in my life now and in the future that I cannot change ….I have got to able to recognize and change my life plan to incorporate this reality.  A new life plan is NOT giving up or giving in or an admission of weakness and/or failure….
"All Star"  OrtoPilot

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