life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, January 5, 2014


I do not know how, when or why. As a creative I should at least be able to imagine what I want my future to look like. Why can’t I envision my own future? My entire life has been about planning, creating goals, and then striving to attain them. I have recently attained some big goals, and I do not know how to take the next step. I know what the typical next step is, I mean the step everyone else takes, but am fairly certain that is not for me. I am putting what comes next in a brand new light and it is scary! Why is my soul here? What am I supposed to do next? When will I know?

"(Till I reach the) Highest Ground"  Stevie Wonder

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