life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, January 5, 2014

Next?



I do not know how, when or why. As a creative I should at least be able to imagine what I want my future to look like. Why can’t I envision my own future? My entire life has been about planning, creating goals, and then striving to attain them. I have recently attained some big goals, and I do not know how to take the next step. I know what the typical next step is, I mean the step everyone else takes, but am fairly certain that is not for me. I am putting what comes next in a brand new light and it is scary! Why is my soul here? What am I supposed to do next? When will I know?

 
"(Till I reach the) Highest Ground"  Stevie Wonder

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