life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, January 14, 2014


Eventually I will not be so na├»ve. I may get smart enough NOT to believe what others tell me what beautiful is. Beautiful, is said to be in the eye of the beholder. Or at least that’s what many of us were told. In the humanities and social sciences, we are taught beauty is socially constructed. In the natural sciences, it is argued that certain features are biologically more aesthetically pleasing. Genetically generated to attract a mate and insure the longevity of a species.   We are constantly confronted with beauty – what it is and what it’s supposed to be? Physical, spiritual, intellectual?
Can everyone be beautiful?
If everyone is beautiful, then is anyone really "more" beautiful?
And why do I care so much?
Because my concept of beauty, my concept of me, like so many other things in my life is just another example of a perception I placed in other people’s hands to figure out, to believe in and to live up to.
I “feel” most beautiful, when I am confident, when I am happy, when I am creating, doing something that is kind and compassionate and loving; something that doesn’t necessarily have to do with my appearance. At the end of the day, it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to make me feel beautiful; it’s mine.
Am I finally getting brave enough to realistically look at beautiful for myself?

"Beautiful"  Carol King               

1 comment:

  1. I think as we enjoy the experience of age we appreciate the small beauties that might be overlooked when viewing the "whole picture", yet appreciated more when focusing on a single or concentrated aspect.