life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Bad Place

Why am I so quick to go straight to the bad place? 
Every time things do not go as I expect them to, 
my brain will “go to the bad place” 
and begin unpacking  the worst case scenarios. 
They are always negative.
I am not good enough...
do not do enough, am not smart enough,
forgot, said too much, did not speak up
am not young enough, do not make enough money, 
not skinny enough. 
the list of bad places could fill this page.
Why do I go there?

This time......I am going to another place!
"Everyone's Gone to the Moon"  Chad & Jeremy

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