life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Saturday, October 19, 2013

Sometimes I am Terrified

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each one of us has cause to think and 
have deep gratitude to those who have lit the flame within us.
On an early full moon morning I finally screwed up my courage
and allowed myself to be weak, 
admitting that
I need,
I want
 I love. 
I can write it here, without fear,
but I am still afraid to ask,
 and honestly tell another person 
how and what I feel.

                                                       I do not regret exposing myself, 
                                         but I am still afraid that openly expressing my feelings
                                                  will compromise how others see me and  
                                                          undermine my own strength. 



"Strength, Courage & Wisdom"  India Arie

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