I celebrate RED.... for my heart!
Four years ago this week I began the most incredible journey of my life. A massive heart attack, an aortic pump, a stent and a week in intensive cardiac care left me with significant left ventricle heart damage. Alive... it was an ugly life wake up call.
The first year I spent in denial, chasing cures, stem cell trials, and surgical options. I was willing to take any chances to fix my broken heart and get my life back. I finally gave up when the high risk thoracic surgeon at Shands said that the surgery could be life threatening. My arteries would most likely not hold the grafts, restarting my damaged heart after by-pass could be difficult leaving LVAD as my only option for heart function. The best possible outcome, was not worth the risk.
The second year I was alone, unfixable, angry and still in shock. I was not prepared for any of this and I refused to accept it. I was mad, felt sorry for myself, whined and cried a lot! (and as it turns out, I am really really good at bitching, whining and crying!) Seven magnificent creative "VoG" women stood with me and held me up when I did not have the emotional or physical strength to do it on my own.
The third year I realized I was still here, still alive. I began creating and writing again. I realized I was wasting my precious time and aggressively began the war to take my life back. My creative heart led the charge.
And this, the fourth most glorious year, I am learning how to embrace compromise and work around the physical difficulties. I can still love, laugh, create and celebrate my life.
I cannot wait for my fifth year to begin. I have so much more to do, to experience, to create, to live, to love and to learn."Every Day" Dave Matthews Band
Happy Anniversary to my most amazing heart, that against the odds continues to support me and the life I love every day....every day!
Now....I live every day! Now....I love every day!