life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, June 7, 2012

little girls cry, big girls say....

And I seem to be caught between the two….
I want to scream fuck…. just as soon as I finish crying.  All of the control I thought I had over my own life and emotions  have been seriously tested and I find myself in a ridiculous struggle with me.  This is not what I had planned and certainly not what I expected.

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