I have had both vehicles cleaned and detailed to sell. Then unpredicted emotional land mines exploded.
Pieces of forgotten evidence turned up
in the van reminding me of all of the great years we spent on the art show circuit,
then from your truck some of your tools and a rain jacket. I realize that I am getting ready to get rid
of parts of us, and my heart begins to feel the loss all over again, but my
head knows this needs to happen. I received
a very reasonable offer on both vehicles much sooner than I had expected and went
into an emotional tailspin of fear. Letting
go of these reminders of us, you and our times together is just much harder than I ever imagined. I had never had to buy or sell a car by myself,
you were always there, advising, asking all of the right questions, negotiating
the price, interest, and warranty. A
cloud of terror wrapped around me with a million questions and an uncertainty
of whether or not I am even capable of making such big decisions erupted. Again, there is doubt, fear, loss. I do not know how I can do this alone and afraid of all of the other
unsuspecting events that I will be facing that will unpredictably conjure up
this overwhelming pain and grief. And how do I get through them...
"Yesterday" The Beatles
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