life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, February 8, 2016

You just will not see it....

And…that is a good thing, especially on Monday mornings!  I bet this will not be what you expect!  Monday mornings are not a bad thing for me….they are spectacular!  I have had the past few years of learning how to be alone!  According to all of the “rules” alone is a bad thing, unhealthy, damaging, unnatural, and anti-social behavior.  Bull Shit!  It is not that I do not like people, I adore crowds at art exhibitions, festivals, and teaching but, for short periods of time and then I need time to recover!  I have wonderful swaths of  alone time to create really stupid stuff,  dance in my PJ’s, sing really really bad and loud and to write about it…. with no one watching.... peppered with large, lots of people, creative events.  When the big events get too much I can leave and when I am lonely…technology has given me the ability to reach out and have creative conversations.  But Monday mornings, regardless of whether it was just having another body in the house all weekend, or big events, I get to return to alone and “me”(and it is a wild thing you just will not see it!).
                             "Wild Thing"  The Troggs

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