life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, February 17, 2016

NOPE!

The part I hate worst about this…..is my body’s inability to tolerate “real life”.  It is not that I go full tilt a whole lot, but every now and again, it is a good thing!  It seems that my body is railing against even the “every now and again”!  And I hate it!  Granted…..a 3 night big art opening is a bit excessive, but I was home every night before 11, limiting my drinks to 1 each evening, and perhaps one night of serious misbehaving.  But is it fair that that adds up to diminished kidney function and pneumonia?  How am I supposed to know what my limits are?  I felt great while I was misbehaving!  And here is the big question I have to ask myself (and answer) if I knew what the limits were and I still wanted to do “it” bad enough, would I?  It is one thing to take care of myself, but when does that cross the boundary line and the illness takes over the joy and fun of my life?  That boundary line is sneaky…
The big question is….if I got to do it all over again.... differently..... would I?     NOPE…..
"There are Places I Remember"  The Beatles

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