life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Saturday, August 2, 2014

"Hold on to Your Heart"

"Hold on to Your Heart" 2014
For years I have gone out of my way to make sure most people did not know about my heart problems. I always saw it as a huge deficit that would compromise my effectiveness as an artist, a facilitator, and any kind of functioning person. It has been a hard thing to cover up and I may not have done as good a job as I thought I have, but the effort was there.
As heart failure goes, things progress that have required some additional routine attention and twice weekly visits to the hospital for rehab and monitoring. It is hard, frustrating, time consuming, disease fixated and it takes my focus away from my art and my amazing full life. It has done so, without my knowledge or permission and it is showing up in my work.
I am not absolutely certain it was a good decision to keep my life and my art separated. It appears that life is erupting into my work, again, without my permission. I am pleased with this work. I was surprised at how quickly it evolved. I am stunned at how effectively it portrays another side of heart failure.

I am ok now (maybe) with people knowing…..

This work is going to the Casselberry Art House Gallery for a month long exhibition….”Hold on to Your Heart” I am holding on to mine as she makes her debut.

  "Hold on My Heart"  Genesis

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