life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Allowing My heart to Take it's Not Always Easy

I am still learning how to grieve. I clearly recognize the parts of me that are compromised and failing.  The loss of  relationships, creative projects, a job or a longed for dream, I am loosing the person I was.  However, my grieving takes me into the fertile space of the unknown. Sitting in this space allows for something new to be born. Perhaps a new aspect of myself, new found resources, new values, a new life pathway or a surprising new relationship.  It takes such courage to resist filling my inner space with something known or predictable. It is a spiritual practice to nurture my capacity to love, live, believe, and celebrate without concrete proof, that something wonderful is going to happen that is just right for me. 
Allowing my heart to take its course is not always easy.

"Good Life" One Republic

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