life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, June 23, 2014

What a fool I have been!



OK… so I am not 65 or 75 but….I got some other issues that certainly helped me relate.  Although I never got even remotely close to perfect, I now look back on my life and see how much of my life and energy I wasted on trying to get there or trying to make the rest of the world think, I already had it.  I squandered time, money, my children, energy, talent, life, (and this list can go on and on and on) doing what other people expected, very rarely asking  is this what I wanted.  Now that I am getting closer to my end, I find myself desperately wanting to make up for lost time.  Going out of my way to have experiences I have denied myself.  Maybe I am over doing, maybe not. Maybe somewhere in here I will find the balance. 

When the author said it will break your heart…It will… it does, and it did… I let it break my heart…What a fool I have been!
"Chain of Fools"  Aretha Franklin

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