life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings
Don't Talk Like That...
I write to find out what my heart thinks.... I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say "Don't talk like that!"
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Not broken....not me...I am not broken! There are pieces and parts of me that are slower and maybe not as reliable as they used to be (and in some cases never really were) but they are not broken. I am closer to "whole" than I think I have ever been in my life. No one ever really stopped me from being and expereincing all that life has to offer, I was just afraid. Afraid, that I would upset, dissapoint and not be what others thought I should be.
I had to be ready to physically and emotionally break, lose everything before....I was willing to break the rules and come this close to whole. Not broken!