life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, March 17, 2014

It needs to begin in the place where it started.

I get that I am a little left of center…I grew up trying so hard to be middle of the road, and I was such a miserable failure! Recently I have been irrevocably drawn back into Leesburg, I thought it was because of my art and creativity, and although that may be part of it, I suspect the important part is the Universe has sucked me back into the single one place that harbors more pain, violence and shame that I thought could possibly be endured. So much pain that I ran from there, not once but twice. It is time for me to face those demons. Were they real or a young woman’s bad dreams? I have some healing to do, and it needs to begin in the place where it started.
My weirdness will make me stronger. 
 My dark side will keep me whole. 
 My vulnerability will connect me to the rest of the world 
and my creativity will set me free. 
 There is nothing wrong!
"Blackbird"  The Beatles

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