Brutal honesty is making me open my eyes to the realities of my life. Some of them I glossed over, convinced myself it did not matter, filed them away, and called them done, thinking it was just that easy to choose to handle life. The ugly memories can be tucked away, but they will continue to poke through my life until I get them out, explore them and resolve the circumstances that created them.
Healing is the process of me being honest with me. Accepting the part I played in creating my own pain. It is the hardest part of this process. It is so much easier to point a finger and blame, but the reality is I participated, whether willingly or not, none of it could have happened without my permission.
I am NOW giving myself the gift of permission to heal, to live, to love and not feel guilty for wanting these things.
I have no idea what moving forward is going to look like, but I know it needs to begin now. In the past I have tried to hold my life still, just maintaining what I have. I have tried stepping back into my old life, convincing myself I was moving forward by picking up where I left off. Neither worked, the last choice is simply being honest with myself and moving forward.
Healing me, healing my heart is going to take brutal honesty, forgiveness, and sheer determination…I can only hope it will be worth it!
"Be Honest" Jason Mraz