life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Friday, August 6, 2010

Understanding (and the lack there of)

It took some time to wrap my head around this physical situation and I will freely admit, there are days that the simple medical explanations still escape my understanding. However, the understanding that eludes me on a regular basis is the emotional part of this disease.

I find brief periods of peace, and what I certainly feel is the beginning of the final long-term understanding only to have it slip away.

I wonder if I will ever truly comprehend the meaning of this disease and my life. The one true understanding I have is that if I quit trying, I never will understand it.

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