Remember the Truth!

A hostile heart failure coupe has taken my identity, disrupted my life’s purpose and undermined my self-worth. It was a fast and incredibly effective onset and in a state of upheaval and disbelief, I was unable to mount an effective defense. “Cheryl, the victim” consumed me.

Confusion is this disease’s weapon of choice as it hurls a barrage of mixed messages.

My heart is the primary source of love and life but my heart is dying.

A primary care doctor can order and Medicaid will pay for a mammogram and a colonoscopy to look for a disease I do not have, but severely limits cardiologist visits’ for a disease that I do have.

I am told go immediately to the ER for the slightest chest pain but I am sent to the free clinic to reduce hospital visits.

I have a very small balance left on my 2010 Medicaid outpatient services allowance, and turned away by doctors because of it, but have an almost unlimited hospital budget and a very generous hospice allowance.

I am consistently challenged by the rules and regulations of Medicaid, embarrassed that it has become my only option but grateful that it is available.

Medical inconsistent and authoritative nonsense undermines my intelligence and self-confidence.

Muddling through this disease, I am learning that if confusion is its effective on going weapon of choice, my best defense will be the truth.

The truth is I am intelligent, I have and will continue to contribute, I still have purpose, I have value now, and I am only a victim if I allow it.

I have to be on constant guard and always remember the truth!
(but it is not easy)