life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Friday, August 27, 2010

OK

Every now and again, in a fearful moment, I feel the weight of my own judgment and wonder if I would do things differently if I could start all over again?

I honestly think I would not change anything, but I am not haughty enough to say that with a great deal of conviction. Everything I have done, right and wrong is responsible for making the person I have become. The person I am is not great, but it is ok.

I am learning that there is no shame in ok.
Ok is not perfect but it is relatively free of remorse and regret.
Ok is good.

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