life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, August 27, 2010


Every now and again, in a fearful moment, I feel the weight of my own judgment and wonder if I would do things differently if I could start all over again?

I honestly think I would not change anything, but I am not haughty enough to say that with a great deal of conviction. Everything I have done, right and wrong is responsible for making the person I have become. The person I am is not great, but it is ok.

I am learning that there is no shame in ok.
Ok is not perfect but it is relatively free of remorse and regret.
Ok is good.

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