life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Expectations

I expected doctors to respect and care about me.
I expected medications to improve quality of life, not just add to the length of the disease.
I expected emotional support to accept and cope with a terminal disease.

Unmet expectations have been my biggest emotional enemy and the source of profound disappointment.

I am learning to take responsibility for the unrealistic expectations that I have created.
I am learning that I have the strength and intelligence to eliminate these expectations.
I am learning that the only person I can expect anything from, is me.

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