life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


I expected doctors to respect and care about me.
I expected medications to improve quality of life, not just add to the length of the disease.
I expected emotional support to accept and cope with a terminal disease.

Unmet expectations have been my biggest emotional enemy and the source of profound disappointment.

I am learning to take responsibility for the unrealistic expectations that I have created.
I am learning that I have the strength and intelligence to eliminate these expectations.
I am learning that the only person I can expect anything from, is me.

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