life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, August 1, 2010

Less than I Expected

A year ago, I did not think about what I expected from my life, but I am certain it was not this. In addition to dealing with this physical disease, I am grieving the loss of the life I expected even though I never truly defined the life I expected.

The gift (yes I said gift) of heart failure is the emotional healing that seems to begin as I am able to identify specifically what I have lost. Just as my physical losses were diagnosed through medical tests before a treatment can begin, my emotional expectations and losses have to be identified, before solutions can be found.

The REAL healing begins as I admit and accept that this life is less than I expected.

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