life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Swim Parallel to Shore!

I am a Florida girl, one of the few born and bred in the sunshine state. Our typical TV weather always include coastal ocean reports, not just the normal tidal information and water conditions for boaters and fishermen but regular rip current warnings for swimmers, too. Rip currents are incredibly strong irregular narrow currents that appear sporadically and surge through the surf from the beach directly out to sea. Many coastal drowning deaths are attributed to swimmers caught in these invisible erratic currents.

It is impossible to fight the intensity of the fast moving waters by swimming directly against the current into shore. Rip currents are normal occurring situations that can overwhelm even the strongest swimmers. However, the TV weatherman consistently reminds us that there is an easy way out of this extremely dangerous situation if we resist the natural urge to get to shore right away and do not panic.

Swim parallel to the shore.
Get out of the strong current. Do not fight it head on.
Once out of the current then turn and swim easily back into the shore.

I feel like I am caught in a rip current, expending all of my precious energy while still being pulled out to sea. This morning’s coastal rip current report and reminder to swim parallel to the shore was the perfect metaphor! It is time to resist my natural urges to get everything back the way it used to be. If I resist my natural urges to be my old self and do not panic when I cannot live up to the old expectations, then I can figure out how and what I want this life to be, without swimming directly against this heart failure current.

I have to swim parallel to the shore first!

Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!

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