life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, August 24, 2017

There...I said it....

I cannot claim to be a wise woman, but sometimes I am frustrated and angry enough to just want to scream.  I want to know why me?  Aren’t I good enough?  What did I do to deserve this?  I want to live happily ever after, too!  I want to be a crazy old artist lady that surprises and embarrasses everyone.  I want to laugh so hard that I cry every day! I often get frustrated with people that create their own problems and then wallow in them. I want…I want…I want my life back!  I want to scream at the top of my lungs “fuck this shit” I don’t deserve it! I don't want to die...There I said it!
"Mad World" Gary Jules

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