life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, August 24, 2017

There...I said it....

I cannot claim to be a wise woman, but sometimes I am frustrated and angry enough to just want to scream.  I want to know why me?  Aren’t I good enough?  What did I do to deserve this?  I want to live happily ever after, too!  I want to be a crazy old artist lady that surprises and embarrasses everyone.  I want to laugh so hard that I cry every day! I often get frustrated with people that create their own problems and then wallow in them. I want…I want…I want my life back!  I want to scream at the top of my lungs “fuck this shit” I don’t deserve it! I don't want to die...There I said it!
"Mad World" Gary Jules

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