life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Something real is here....

I always knew I was stronger than “the average bear”.  Perhaps being a red head, I had a built in reputation of fiery, opinionated and being strong willed to live up to. Or maybe I deliberately put myself in a situation that the only way I could survive was to use and hone those skills.

 Regardless of the circumstances and who or why they were created what developed was a woman with strength.  Although I often wasted that strength trying to please and control others, I did develop it!  Never in a million years did I imagine that I would have to direct the strength I had created at myself.  And yes maybe I am a bit crazy, it would not be the first time I had been accused of that, but I have this nagging feeling there is something inside of me that is important, that someone or a lot of someones are looking for. Something that is going to take an unimaginable amount of strength to realize. I have no idea what it is, but I have this feeling there is something real here that the world needs.
"This Feeling"  Alabama Shakes

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