life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Yes...

Life gifts, chances, opportunities, breaks, typically will not arrive gift wrapped with a bow and a gift card explaining exactly what they are and how they will change lives.  It has taken me some time to realize after 5 years of doctors telling me no, that I have been given the gift of a choice, the choice to say "yes" or "no".  My immediate gut feeling, was no.  I had heard it so many times before and learned how to take "no" with grace (kind of) and acceptance.  I know how to do “NO”.
"Yes" is foreign, yes is scary, Yes is full of risk and pain.  But me saying yes, is the only possible way I have to build the new.
I am saying yes….yes... to open heart surgery, yes.... to the gift, the chance, the opportunity to hold onto to my life and build new!

"Pata Pata"    Miriam

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