life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, July 8, 2015


Life gifts, chances, opportunities, breaks, typically will not arrive gift wrapped with a bow and a gift card explaining exactly what they are and how they will change lives.  It has taken me some time to realize after 5 years of doctors telling me no, that I have been given the gift of a choice, the choice to say "yes" or "no".  My immediate gut feeling, was no.  I had heard it so many times before and learned how to take "no" with grace (kind of) and acceptance.  I know how to do “NO”.
"Yes" is foreign, yes is scary, Yes is full of risk and pain.  But me saying yes, is the only possible way I have to build the new.
I am saying yes….yes... to open heart surgery, yes.... to the gift, the chance, the opportunity to hold onto to my life and build new!

"Pata Pata"    Miriam

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