life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, July 19, 2015

from the "Class of 72...."

1972 Leesburg High School Year Book voted “Best Sense of Humor” 
Holy crap!  That was a nice rack....even if I do say so myself!  Not so much NOW!
A reunion coming up, and my nose is smashed into the yearbook boning up on who is who. I cannot remember who I saw last week and now somehow I think looking at 40 something year old pictures might help. And yes for a few moments….. I really did think we would all look like we were still 18 years old. Why is it, regardless how much time has passed, or what I have accomplished in life, I go back home to a class reunion and every single one of those, high school feelings of insecurity and "not good enough" erupt like I am still 18 years old! There is no doubt that I have survived the wear & tear of life, I look like I am 60 something, but fortunately I am still loud, outrageously inappropriate, overly expressive, I chronically break the rules, I will never be the proper Leesburg lady and I dance really badly (but still love to). I just figured out how to make a living and a life from all of my 1972 un-lady-like qualities as a Fine Artist (never in the art club, in fact I got caught skipping art class) Creativity Facilitator (never a leader or queen of anything, although I wear my tiara regularly now), However I am, I am indeed still laughing! That part I got right!
"The Sun Screen Song"  Buz Luhman

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