life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, July 19, 2015

from the "Class of 72...."

1972 Leesburg High School Year Book voted “Best Sense of Humor” 
Holy crap!  That was a nice rack....even if I do say so myself!  Not so much NOW!
A reunion coming up, and my nose is smashed into the yearbook boning up on who is who. I cannot remember who I saw last week and now somehow I think looking at 40 something year old pictures might help. And yes for a few moments….. I really did think we would all look like we were still 18 years old. Why is it, regardless how much time has passed, or what I have accomplished in life, I go back home to a class reunion and every single one of those, high school feelings of insecurity and "not good enough" erupt like I am still 18 years old! There is no doubt that I have survived the wear & tear of life, I look like I am 60 something, but fortunately I am still loud, outrageously inappropriate, overly expressive, I chronically break the rules, I will never be the proper Leesburg lady and I dance really badly (but still love to). I just figured out how to make a living and a life from all of my 1972 un-lady-like qualities as a Fine Artist (never in the art club, in fact I got caught skipping art class) Creativity Facilitator (never a leader or queen of anything, although I wear my tiara regularly now), However I am, I am indeed still laughing! That part I got right!
"The Sun Screen Song"  Buz Luhman

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