life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

There she goes....again!

So….if you know anything about me….you know that I am a certified control freak (accept when it comes to house cleaning and cooking, always have better things to do).  You have to know how absolutely petrified I am about open heart surgery.  I mean the ultimate in lack of control.  Some people I do not not know (who’s only interest in me is a pay check) will literally sawing and hacking into my chest and stopping my heart.  Not that I want to be awake to choreograph this….but holy crap, it is the ultimate in letting go of control!
"There She Goes, Again"  Ortopilot

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