life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, July 21, 2015


Having a truly "what the hell are you doing?" moment. The truth is the doctors do not know me from Adam's house cat.  I am not a person with a life, I am a big ass paycheck....I know, I know I am sounding horribly cynical but.....the reality is...if this surgery does not work.... they go home have dinner with the family and still collect a pay check....they risk nothing!!!

Doctors are whippersnappers in ironed white coats
Who spy up your rectums and look down your throats
And press you and poke you with sterilized tools
And stab at solutions that pacify fools.
I used to revere them and do what they said
Till I learned what they learned on was already dead.
                                                                       Gilda Radner

"Witch Doctor" David Seville & the Chipmunks

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