life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


.

.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

yes....I am whining....


None of it falls into place easily, it never just “flows”…It is all a mess, but I have had years to learn how to convince myself and others to ignore and cover up the hurt and the pain and move forward anyway. I am and have been an expert performer, but this disease is taking its toll and I am so tired, I just cannot do it very well any more.  Years of hurt and pain have eaten my heart and now it is showing through and falling apart. This is when I feel the most vulnerable and clean out more closets.
and yes I am whining....

"Family of Strangers"   Ann Reed

No comments:

Post a Comment