life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings
Don't Talk Like That...
I write to find out what my heart thinks.... I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say "Don't talk like that!"
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
I'll Know what I know
...tomorrow is Cardiac Cath day....it has been 5 years since the last one, mostly because I have begged, pleaded, promised to be good, offered my first born son and in general have done all I know to get out of them. Time to put on the big girl panties and see the truth. Good or bad it is time for me to know and that means a dose of REAL....Oh crap...who am I fooling...heart failure has no good....it is a slow "one way" march, never cured and no such thing as remission. Tomorrow is a real dose about how far, how long and how much and making the most of that info and life.
"I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know, if you know what I mean"
"Shove me in the shallow water, before I get to deep!"