life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Try Something Different


Like just about everyone…. my day begins with the same ritual…get up, start the coffee, unload the dishwasher and stare out of my kitchen window, think about the day ahead of me and sigh.

A few weeks ago I set this little guy outside the kitchen window to remind me to take a moment to sit and reflect, but this morning he talked back. He clearly spoke up and asked “Do you remember when I came into the world? I arrived the day you decided to let go of all that you thought you could do, to share a day with friends focused on doing something different, challenging yourself to create the uncomfortable, stretching past the familiar to carve concrete. Carve concrete???  It does not matter that I am not perfect or even good. I AM DIFFERENT and that in itself is good."

This morning he is saying something new, something I will strive to do every day, every day, every day….
Look past the routine...
embrace opportunities to move outside my comfort zone…..
try something different….
and trust that good only exists in the "different".


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