life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, May 20, 2013

Crazymaker: A L E R T

I have become really good at identifying and limiting the crazymakers in my life. You know…. those people that create and thrive in high drama, suck up your energy, disregard your time, discount your life, steal you away from your own purpose and direction and in general make you crazy (hence the name crazymaker).    

I have recently discovered one of the most insidious stealth crazymakers I have ever known! A crazymaker that is capable of stopping me dead in my tracks, redirecting my awareness away from all of the boundless positive energy and significant gratitude available to me. A crazymaker that is so incredibly sinister, detection has been almost impossible.

This devious crazymaker does not care whether I have the time or energy to participate in its distorted agenda.

This deceitful crazymaker dispenses personal destruction without the slightest hint of detection.

This cunning crazymaker truly deserves an academy award for the ability to hijack the marvelous authenticity of “now” and create a ridiculous destructive fantasy realm of          “what if”.  

This self-absorbed crazymaker ignores reality, snubs the truth, discounts common sense and disregards the blessings that exist now. 

May I introduce you to the most notorious crazymaker of all time



  1. Not all of you. In you is the non-crazymaker, too. The essence that is aware... of it all!

  2. And knowing is half the battle!