I have rediscovered one of my excellent talents that I thought I had long since walked away from,
self-sabotage.
It is my ability to seek out and find people, situations, and in general anything that will keep me from doing the work I love, that I am good at and that I am meant to do.
The question of how this has reemerged in my life is nowhere near as important as the why. The how is easy, it always is. The why I deliberately damage my ability to create art and myself is hard.
This time, I recognized my ugly behavior before it consumed me. Is it enough to recognize self-sabotage to stop it or do I need to understand why I do it?
life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings
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