life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, July 23, 2012

Confidence and Courage

Please give me more…
and if I cannot get more confidence and courage, can I please just have the audacity to fake it!  

For the next few weeks, I need the confidence and courage to move way outside my comfort zone. I do not want to slip back into the secure areas just because they feel good. I want to push well past the boundaries, all of the restrictions that limit me. I need to walk on the edge to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do it.  

So, even if I do not recover the confidence and courage that would make this easier, I know that I can pull this off with plain conviction, hard work and pain. Some of my most incredible accomplishments were born from this, not always confidence and courage.

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