life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, July 23, 2012

Confidence and Courage

Please give me more…
and if I cannot get more confidence and courage, can I please just have the audacity to fake it!  

For the next few weeks, I need the confidence and courage to move way outside my comfort zone. I do not want to slip back into the secure areas just because they feel good. I want to push well past the boundaries, all of the restrictions that limit me. I need to walk on the edge to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do it.  

So, even if I do not recover the confidence and courage that would make this easier, I know that I can pull this off with plain conviction, hard work and pain. Some of my most incredible accomplishments were born from this, not always confidence and courage.

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