life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Friday, February 21, 2014

I Am Amazed!

There are so many amazing things in this world, and I am learning, I am learning, I am learning! All of the platitudes have always been there, right in front of my face, but I just did not get them until I actually experience them. And here is the thing, it was never by choice! I wanted to experience them, I was too afraid to really reach out there and try. The absolute worst thing that could possibly happen to me, turns out to be the most phenomenal gift I could have ever received! Without it I would have been too afraid to ever try, to ever really live.
Everyday, everyday another amazing gift arrives in my life that is more than I could have ever expected.
Here is what I have learned so far.
It is ok to be slightly strange!
Give and give even when I think there is nothing more of me to give, it always come back to me in the most amazing ways!
Break some rules, they will get over it!
Don’t be afraid to let someone see me, really see me, I do not have to be strong or perfect all of the time.
"Maybe I am Amazed"  Jem

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