life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Shame in Acceptance

Refusing to give up is a noble act. I love cheering for the underdog! Just about every book I read or movie I see revolves around the character that survives and even thrives against all odds. We all admire the “come from behind” winner and respect the courageous fight to the finish.

I feel guilty for not wanting to wage war on this disease up until the very end. I do want to waste my time, finances and energy making this disease last longer. I want to accept it. Why is there so much shame in giving up?

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