life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Shame in Acceptance

Refusing to give up is a noble act. I love cheering for the underdog! Just about every book I read or movie I see revolves around the character that survives and even thrives against all odds. We all admire the “come from behind” winner and respect the courageous fight to the finish.

I feel guilty for not wanting to wage war on this disease up until the very end. I do want to waste my time, finances and energy making this disease last longer. I want to accept it. Why is there so much shame in giving up?

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