life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Loop

I am desperately trying to move though my own grief. I have done denial, extremely well I might add but I am struggling with consistent acceptance. I manage acceptance admirably for short periods of time, then I easily slip back into denial, which can instantly morph into depression, that can be quickly relieved with denial. Denial-acceptance-depression-denial-acceptance is a vicious loop I cannot seem to break.

I am desperately seeking the emotional tools that will move me through my own grief to find peace.

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