life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Condescending Compassion

If you have been on the receiving end of condescending compassion, you know it does not feel right. I know I am supposed to be grateful, but in my heart I know what is being felt is pity. This compassion is being generated from a source of fear. Regardless of how the compassion is intended I feel like I am being seen as wounded, flawed in some way, pathetic and in need of being cared for. It takes my power away, makes me weaker and floods my body and heart with negativity.
I am all right in my pain it makes me stronger.

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