The Important Things!

which ever one of the "old" friends shared this yesterday....
ThankYOU is a perfect way to start this weekend!

And this is a mouthful of truth!  Running (not walking) back “home” for a high school reunion… #43 to be precise, but it is not so much the reunion but 5 good high school friends getting the opportunity to spend a weekend together in Nanny Sander’s house, where we all did a good part of our growing up!  5 (maybe more) women/girls coming home to rediscover our “important things “and I suspect there will be a bit of party-ing, too!  Woo-Hoo!

"Moma Told Me Not to Come" 3 Dog Night

Cheryl's Excellent Adventure.....Part #1

"You Might Die Trying" Live

Dave Matthews Band Concert is Part #1 of 4 spectacular adventures that will change my life forever!  It could not gotten off to a better start…..well they could have played more of MY favorite songs, but that does not take away from the outstanding musicians they are and the incredible noise they can make!  Of course, if you mix in great people, huge gigantic beers, an amazing full moon (it was an outdoor venue) with that noise and there will be dancing in the aisles!  Great, great, great fun!
"to change the world...you start with one step"

 "if you give....you get the world"               

"You Might Die Trying"  Dave Matthews Band

chaos...chaos...chaos... BRING IT!

That is what they say anyway…and I am holding them to it, cause I have got some serious wonderful chaos in my near future!  My annual pilgrimage to see The Dave Matthews Band https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK7AlQ3FNdQ , a high school reunion and a 2 day slumber party with old high school girl friends, at Nanny Sanders’ house.  A house all of us practically grew up in, and at last count I think there were somewhere between 4 and 6 bottles of vodka lined up and an uncountable number of full wine bottles…..
Ergo the CHAOS already mentioned!  

And all of this chaos does not even take into consideration the next few days at the beach with 4 grandsons ages 7 through 11.  Crazy chaos or absolute, unbelievable, kick-butt take names…FUN!

"Bad to the Bone"  George Thorogood

There she goes....again!

So….if you know anything about me….you know that I am a certified control freak (accept when it comes to house cleaning and cooking, always have better things to do).  You have to know how absolutely petrified I am about open heart surgery.  I mean the ultimate in lack of control.  Some people I do not not know (who’s only interest in me is a pay check) will literally sawing and hacking into my chest and stopping my heart.  Not that I want to be awake to choreograph this….but holy crap, it is the ultimate in letting go of control!

"There She Goes, Again"  Ortopilot

Creative rhythm, sensual ebb and flow...are you kidding me??? .... My fear is out of control dancing wildly!

i move to a creative rhythm, i am brave, open hearted, intuitive in my sway, i ebb and flow my way into this breathtaking dance, i am the sensual one.

This….This is the ultimate fear of the unknown! Not knowing if this surgery is going to work. How much is it going to hurt? How long before I get my life back? What will my body and my life look like when they are done? Will my heart be better? Underneath, my fear is dancing wildly, but all you can see is calm... It is taking everything I have to hold on to my creative rhythm, my brave open heart, my sensual controlled breathtaking dance?

"Honky Tonk Woman" The Rolling Stones

Boobs, Pirates, Tequila and Tiaras....

Yes, I know you are watching….so you need to know there is not one day of my life that I have not said Thank you for being my best friend.
"Love is where this begins, Thank you for letting me in, I've never had to pretend, You’ve always known who I am And I know my life is better, Because you’re a part of it, I know without you by my side, That I would be different Thank you for all of your trust, Thank you for not giving up, Thank you for holding my hand. I've always known where you stand Yes, I feel my life is better, So is the world we’re living in, I’m thankful for the time I spent, With my best friend Thank you for calling me out, Thank you for waking me up, Thank you for breaking it down, Thank you for choosing us Thank you for all you’re about, Thank you for lifting me up, Thank you for keeping me grounded, And being here now, I’m thankful for the time I spent With my best friend." Jason Mraz

"Best Friend"  Jason Mraz

I must do the thing...

Each day it just creeps closer and closer and the fear  can be overwhelming.  I wish with all my heart (no pun intended) that I could just blink my eyes and it would be all over with.  I wish it would be done, that it is a grand success, and I will have bought myself more time and a better quality of life.  I must do the THING….

               "Heals Me"  India Arie

and do it anyway....

I wish I could tell you how many times I have said this to others.  In 20 years of facilitating creativity classes, it is one of my go to catch phrases.  There is even a book by this tittle that I have highly recommended to classes.  And now I sit, drenched in fear and this phrase seems to be preposterous.  But....I am going to do it any way.  The next time I tell a class full of creatives to feel the fear and do it anyway, it will mean something very different!

           "Fear"   Jazmine Sullivan

Art Fairy Godmother

I have just been called an art fairy godmother, and it literally brought tears to my eyes I am so touched, honored, overwhelmed, proud, encouraged (I can go on and on) and cannot think of anything in this whole world that I would like to be known as more than this.
And if that was not the greatest thing in the whole wild world....
there is a magic wand and tiara!

Thank you my dear amazing creative friend!  I am so touched!


"When You Wish Upon a Star"   Rod Stewart

Religion and Politics

In the course of many interesting and wonderful conversations I have felt the pressure to produce a solid belief in something.  I really do feel some connection to this quote!  I love a discourse with those that can passionately embrace their beliefs, without becoming angry if I question why or do not embrace the same viewpoints.  I have had friends and family that literally sever ties with me simply because I cannot embrace and practice their beliefs, or that I openly question or doubt the popular faiths. I would not ever want anyone to believe as I do, to simply belong and/or agree.  Why is it so difficult for them to offer me the same courtesy?   Is religious and political “belief’ the death of questioning and intelligence?

"Abraham, Martin & John"   Dion

Ting-Tang-Walla-Walla-Bing-Bang

Having a truly "what the hell are you doing?" moment. The truth is the doctors do not know me from Adam's house cat.  I am not a person with a life, I am a big ass paycheck....I know, I know I am sounding horribly cynical but.....the reality is...if this surgery does not work.... they go home have dinner with the family and still collect a pay check....they risk nothing!!!

Doctors are whippersnappers in ironed white coats

Who spy up your rectums and look down your throats

And press you and poke you with sterilized tools

And stab at solutions that pacify fools.

I used to revere them and do what they said

Till I learned what they learned on was already dead.

                                                                       Gilda Radner

"Witch Doctor" David Seville & the Chipmunks

Well CRAP.....

Well CRAP!  Timing never has been my strong suit!  I have been in the gym for a couple of months now adding strength training to my walking with the hopes of being absolutely totally and completely ready for this open heart surgery and the gym decides to remodel and will be closed for a while!  Another couple of week’s strength training will be missed!

However, beach week is the 3 thru 11 so my last week’s works outs was already scheduled to be solitary sunrise walks along the beach anyway, a much better way to prepare than that stinky gym. 

Maybe it will be ok….

"Push it"  Salt n Pepa

3/4's of the way there....

It looks like I am going to get a stutter in my life.  A distinct time where I can clearly mark the ending of one part of my life, and to a certain degree begin again.  I should have more energy and life and the question becomes what do I want to do with it.   Then I ran across this small chart, and it really did make some decisions seem clearer.  I just have to work harder on “You are paid for it”.  The other 3 things have already been answered, I am ¾’s of the way there!

"You Live, You Learn"  Alanis  Morisette

from the "Class of 72...."

1972 Leesburg High School Year Book voted “Best Sense of Humor” 

Holy crap!  That was a nice rack....even if I do say so myself!  Not so much NOW!

A reunion coming up, and my nose is smashed into the yearbook boning up on who is who. I cannot remember who I saw last week and now somehow I think looking at 40 something year old pictures might help. And yes for a few moments….. I really did think we would all look like we were still 18 years old. Why is it, regardless how much time has passed, or what I have accomplished in life, I go back home to a class reunion and every single one of those, high school feelings of insecurity and "not good enough" erupt like I am still 18 years old! There is no doubt that I have survived the wear & tear of life, I look like I am 60 something, but fortunately I am still loud, outrageously inappropriate, overly expressive, I chronically break the rules, I will never be the proper Leesburg lady and I dance really badly (but still love to). I just figured out how to make a living and a life from all of my 1972 un-lady-like qualities as a Fine Artist (never in the art club, in fact I got caught skipping art class) Creativity Facilitator (never a leader or queen of anything, although I wear my tiara regularly now), However I am, I am indeed still laughing! That part I got right!

"The Sun Screen Song"  Buz Luhman

Making my mark....

Maybe this is just the way

my art, my love and my life 

is supposed to be.  

This is the whole the point!

"How can you mend a Broken Heart"
Al Green & Joss Stone

yes....I am whining....

None of it falls into place easily, it never just “flows”…It is all a mess, but I have had years to learn how to convince myself and others to ignore and cover up the hurt and the pain and move forward anyway. I am and have been an expert performer, but this disease is taking its toll and I am so tired, I just cannot do it very well any more.  Years of hurt and pain have eaten my heart and now it is showing through and falling apart. This is when I feel the most vulnerable and clean out more closets.

and yes I am whining....

"Family of Strangers"   Ann Reed

and...Today's Lessons

Be strong

Doesn’t matter what others think

Use all of your body and soul

Do not be afraid to be smart

They cannot hurt me

And always always always express yourself!

"Good Girls"     Julian Moon

Always the Lady ?????

There is this FB app that shows past posts, and this one turned up today from one of my old High School friends…“Ummm....Yea....what do you  think?”

Always the prim and proper lady!

"She's a Lady"    Tom Jones    

Next!

If this surgery works.....I think I may be coming to an amazing new beginning!  I can start all over again, a chance to leave this consuming fear and pain behind me, to choose the energy I want to embrace.  I cannot even begin to imagine how life will change when I do not have to spend so much of my precious energy on the pain and being tired all of the time.  I need to get busy planning what I need to do next!

             "Shine" Jason Mraz

10 Rules for being a Human Being

Last night at the Art Journal Group this quote came up and I loved it!  

by Cr. Cherie Carter-Scott, it is great!

"Wide Awake"   Kay Perry