life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure. I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Thursday, February 28, 2019

What the fuck is “too much”?

Had my weekly checkup yesterday and the “yuk” of the past couple of weeks have either settled into my new normal and/or have gone away (the crappy cold I caught)!  I count that as a good!  But no visit from my nurse seems to be complete without my weekly finger-wagging speech about doing too much.  Under my breath, the question is always… what the fuck is “too much”?  If I can do it, is it too much?  I mean...the alternative seems to be to sit quietly, do nothing and hope like hell it will help me live longer!  I am who I am!  I have already given up Art Festivals and teaching because I understood and had serious physical symptoms that keep me from doing them.  It is not that I am not aware of what this heart and body can do...hell I have to live in it!

I am not giving into this disease.  It is going to do what it is going to do.  I cannot fight or beat heart failure but I can choose not to lay down and allow it to take over my entire life...it has robbed me of enough already!   I am not stupid I know how to be careful, but I am still living my life! 
"I would rather have 2 weeks of wonderful than a whole life of nothing special.” Steel Magnolias


"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" The Beatles

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