Lockdown

I do admit that it is a bit melodramatic, but when I am confined to the house and little or no activity, I might as well be in lockdown.  The hardest part of this disease is not knowing.  I know that sounds ridiculous and it is hard to explain.  As I have said a bazillion times I am so lucky that heart failure has little pain (not like cancer).  What it does have is overwhelming and frustrating exhaustion!  And to make it even more difficult this fatigue is not constant.   What is not functioning today, may function tomorrow and vice versa.  There is no early warning system. So, I had the most phenomenal 3 nights at the Nude Nite Exhibition, would not have missed them for anything, loved them, had a great time but apparently, the “payment” has come due.  The heart numbers “ratted” me out on the weekly nurse visit, although in my own defense I had no idea.  I knew I was a little “tired-er” but not to this point.  The question that is a constant swirl in my head, as well as nurse Ed’s is what and when is “living” well?  Lockdown is precariously close to my quality of life red line!  The lockdown good news...I got the income taxes done!

"Shake Me Like a Monkey"  Dave Matthews Band