life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Monday, December 15, 2014

Thinking about death....

We (me, doctors, friends, family) do not talk about death… Perhaps that is why it took me so long to explore these thoughts, but when I finally did, I found a comfort and clarity that I did not expect.  As I struggle to come to terms with death, I am surrounded by a comforting peace that reminds me of my place in the world. In the big picture, death reduces the mundane things that stress me out and puts them in perspective. The love, the people, the places, the experiences and all of the things that matter most to me become big and crisp again. … Thinking about death does not scare me, it clarifies my life.
"Better Off Now"  Trent Dabbs           

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