life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, November 5, 2014 is not worth having....

And that is what I keep telling myself….over and over and over again.Will it ever stop hurting? 
How and when do I let go?
Will I ever learn that my value is not measured by others love, affection or attention.
I have to do this myself.
I cannot allow myself to need and that is much harder than I expected.

"Defying Gravity"  Lea Michele

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