life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Wednesday, December 11, 2013

sURpriSe !!!!!!

You all came together, surprised the crap out of me, celebrating my BA in Arts Administration (UMASS)! I have never been so grateful, touched and honored. No formal graduation could have ever meant more to me.

For 15 years, I have met with creatives every summer and each second Sunday of the month for the rest of the year in a little classroom behind the Casselberry Art House Gallery. We have been on a collective creative journey. We have held each other’s hearts, we have shepherded each other’s talents, learned how to let go of the past, honored our inspirations, to create, sing, dance, write, draw, sculpt, paint and use our bodies, our imaginations and all of our talents to the fullest. Then….we put it all on exhibition! It is far from the typical bunch of artists!

I have always wondered….am I good enough, was I making a difference. Frankly, most of the time, I have felt like a giant fraud and any minute you would all figure out that it has never really been about me teaching you, but the other way around, you teaching me. Over the years, you have all given me so much. The most incredible creatives have come into my life through that back room, we have learned, laughed, cried and grown together. You have given me the greatest gift, the gift of meaning to my art and my life.

I am so grateful to have you all in my life. Thank you Joy & Wendy for organizing, Thank you creatives, painters, sculptors, musicians, writers, drawers, family and friends, for being here, celebrating this milestone with me. Thank you all for the marvelous gifts, cards, oodles of champagne, killer cake, yummy food but most of all the incredible scrap book you made for me. Your kindness, your generosity, your love and all of your incredible talents will live in my heart forever. Thank you is just not a big enough word to tell you all how I feel! But, until we create a bigger better word it is the best I can do….again…Thank you all!

And no…… I still do not know what I want to do when I grow up!


"Thank You" Natalie Merchant

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