life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"


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Sunday, December 8, 2013

Screw the Rules!

Mark Twain
I have spent a lifetime being (and not very well) what someone else has dictated I should be, following all of the rules. Most of the time I do not know who those “someones” are, I have never met them but they are experts and made the rules and I have followed them. How to look, act, how much money I should have, how a lady behaves,  how a mother should raise children, how a wife should honor her husband, when a mother in-law should speak, the list goes on and on.  I have done all of these things by the rules.  Sometimes they worked, but more often they didn’t. 
Every time they didn’t, I felt like a failure. These “someones” judge me, they are voices in my head, they are always critical, they always point out everything I have done wrong and continue to do wrong without any consideration to what makes me happy.

It is my turn to be happy…. 
As long as I am not hurting anyone else
 …screw the rules!
           
 "Back to Life" EnVogue

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