life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Wednesday, December 25, 2013


There is no other time that brings back more memories than a quiet Christmas morning.
The joy of that first Christmas day with Jason, after he spent weeks in the hospital. I brought my new born son home at 4 lbs 11 oz. for Christmas.
The endless Christmas eve nights spent up all night assembling toys and bicycles were worth every moment just to hear the 15 seconds of happy squeals when the boys first see what Santa brought. Darren looking at me and saying, “See Mom…I told you I had been good!”

Those Christmas mornings were wild and crazy, there was so much wrapping paper you could not see the floor, I ached for a quiet relaxed Christmas morning, now I would give anything to just have one of those Christmases back!

This year I had the most wonderful family gathering, took my grandsons ice-skating, had a perfect intimate "Enchilada Eve" with my dearest friend and some family, but Christmas mornings are where the memories live.

Remembering and grateful this Christmas morning.


"Hallelujah"   Hannah Trigwell

Darren got me new head phones.....mmmmm....

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