life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Monday, June 28, 2010

Right With God?


After I was officially diagnosed with terminal heart failure, I over heard one of my siblings say,   Now...“I needed to get right with God”. I wondered whether I was suppose to hear that comment, but it occurred to me, perhaps that was the intent.

When did choosing a different path make me not right with God?

Why is my life defined by what I resist or exclude?

Why can't I be defined by what I have embraced and included?

Is my goodness only measured by a religion and rules?

Arguments about religion have created more hate, murder and destruction than any other single reason on this earth. How can we argue hate and kill each other for a God that only wants love and peace for us? My heart will not let me be a part of the rules and religion that justifies hate in the name of God.

I have followed my heart,
honored my creative gifts and shared my blessings.
I have loved dearly and been loved.
I have received more blessings in this life than most people can imagine!
The many open and diverse ideas I embrace will define my life. Honesty, love, sharing, and creating. These are the gifts that have made my life worth living.
This is the measure of my life's purpose and goodness, I cannot be judged by any man's definition of a religions rules, I can only be judged by the divine loving God that I cocreate with

and I am extremely right with my God!

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