life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....

I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this raunchy disease. My words always help me understand that in this life there will be times that are crappy painful and unexpected but tucked in there are the amazingly wonderful, too. That is when I realized the only control I have over any of this is how I chose to experience them! I realized that I could understand, celebrate can survive even better when I could express these feelings with my own words of courage, humor, and grace. I am the Queen of my own life and the choice is mine!

I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to grieve my losses, to laugh long and hard, and to learn how to live a full magnificent life with heart failure.

I am honoring my creativity, and exploring all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say....."Don't talk like that!"



Tuesday, June 22, 2010


As I pay more attention to life, I begin to understand that some of the difficult situations we all get in to are created by the stories we tell ourselves. I have seen these stories be habitual explanations, dramatic exaggerations or total fabrications, but the one thing they all have in common is that the tellers sincerely believe their stories are true.

"I did this to myself, I deserve heart failure" has become part of my story.

Are people thinking "this is what happens if you do not follow the rules?"
Will my death be punishment for not following the rules?
Do I betray my goodness to tell a story to confirm medical explanations about my heart failure?
Is my story a habitual explanation, dramatic exaggeration or total fabrication?
Is my story true or just another story?

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